3 ways your poor body image is messing with your sex life and how to fix it
Here’s something you've thought about but wont say out loud- You feeling crap about yourself and your body is affecting your sex life. We all hear about the bikini body, summer body, healthy ageing stuff but what about how your body image and health affects your sex life? I strongly believe that the sex and pleasure we have is linked to our overall health, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too. As mums, our bodies go through incredible changes, and it’s easy to feel disconnected or critical of how we look. But here’s the thing, when we carry negative thoughts about our bodies, it doesn’t just stay in our heads. It can show up in the bedroom, impacting our confidence, our ability to be present, and even our connection with our partner. Understanding this connection is the first step toward reclaiming your sensuality and improving your overall wellbeing.
Who gives a fuck about the summer body if your low self esteem and body image concerns are affecting your sex life… like seriously who cares what you look like in a bikini if you can't get those juices flowing in the bedroom!
3 ways your poor body image is messing with your sex life
You are stuck in your head not in the moment
Instead of enjoying the spicy sexy moment, you are too busy thinking
Do I look ok from this angle?
I can’t do this in the loungeroom its too light
Oh no can’t do daytime sex
Can’t get on top my belly flops
Sound familiar?
You are avoiding sex and intimacy altogether
Not feeling great about how you look but also have no energy and just cant be fucked so you a make excuses and withdraw from your partner altogether, which in turn is also affecting your overall relationship.
When you do actually get to the fun part you are holding back
Feeling self conscious will make you second guess yourself and every moment instead of just letting loose, having fun and letting the moment take you wherever it wants to go
So what can you do about it?
It’s time to shift the focus from trying to look perfect to feeling fucking amazing in your own skin. The truth is, confidence and self acceptance are far sexier than any ‘ideal’ body type ever could be. When you are stuck obsessing over every little thing, it’s nearly impossible to relax, let go, and enjoy the sexy juicy pleasurable moments. But here’s the good news, improving how you feel about your body isn’t about losing weight or fitting into a certain dress size, it’s about rewiring the way you think and speak to yourself. Because when you truly feel good about yourself, it radiates into every area of your life, including your sex life, your relationship with your partner, your feminine energy and your overall health.
Take ownership of your health
Exercise and nutrition are not about punishing your body or achieving some stupid outdated idea of sexy or the perfect body, they are about celebrating and taking care of the body that carries you through life. Focus on how you FEEL not what you look like. Find ways to move your body that feel epic for you like dancing in the kitchen, lifting weights because it makes you feel empowered or walk in nature to clear your head at the same time. Nourish yourself with foods that energize you, not restrict you, don't worry about counting calories or macros, real whole food. 1 meal of leafy greens a day, 2 meals of colourful veg, 500ml of water when you wake up and fermented food regularly, go watch my free nutrition 101 masterclass for busy mums for a full rundown on nutrition. Looking after your body is a sign of respect, when you respect yourself you'll in turn feel empowered and sexy.
Step into your feminine energy
When you start loving and accepting yourself, you’ll notice something magical, your feminine energy will start to flow naturally. Feminine energy is the energy that's all about embracing your sensuality, creativity, playfulness, fun and connection to pleasure. BUT, here's the thing, when we become mothers our bodies change, dynamics of the relationship change, the jobs around the house increase, time for yourself reduces and whether it's sleepless nights or running the kids around to soccer training and basketball all puts us in a very masculine state of having to just get shit done. I know myself this is a battle at times and when Charli was only a few months old and not sleeping I lived mostly in my masculine for months which caused even more stress and tension both within myself and in my relationship with Josh. Don't get me wrong we need the doing, we need the masculine but we also need to learn how to surrender into the feminine for both our own inner peace and for our relationship, because let me tell you 2 strong masculines in a relationship isn't sexy and don't gel well, it’s like 2 magnets repelling each other, definitely not conducive for a calm household or a healthy sex life. So what gets you into your feminine? What makes you feel calm, playful, creative and sexy? Here are some ideas- wear clothes that you feel comfortable and sexy in, having a shower by candle light at the end of the day after work/being with the kids and washing the day off, dancing in the kitchen for an entire song, taking your shoes off and getting your feet on the earth, getting creative by writing or drawing. It doesn't matter, just get out of the masculine and into your feminine, that's where the sexy juicy time is.
Start talking positively to your body
Start looking at yourself in the mirror and saying all the things you love about your body, not what you hate about it! repeat things like
I am beautiful
My body is beautiful
I eat to nourish my body
I am sexy and strong
I am beautiful inside and out
It might feel weird at first or even uncomfortable but I promise if you keep doing it along with the other 2 things above, you will start to feel more confident and empowered in your body.
Need some help to start loving your body so you can feel sexy AF naked and get those juices flowing? Then mama lets get to work and get you getting down with your partner in a sexy, juicy, dirty way. Lets get started working 1:1, we will go deep and hard on all areas of your life. Or if you prefer the self paced option head over to Mum School and get started today for just $22.22.
