3 ideas to spice up your sex life after kids
No one teaches us as mothers or as a couple how to navigate our relationship after kids so it's no surprise that 50% of marriages end in divorce and that 1 in 5 relationships will break down in the first 12 months of having a baby.
There are many reasons for this, but let's talk sex. Studies suggest that 50-70% of couples have less sex than they did before having kids. No one explains to us that after we have a baby our sex drive might decrease which can be for a number of reasons like hormonal changes, breastfeeding, body image and not feeling sexy AF and relationship tension. But also let’s point out that mums have higher stress levels than some of the highest paying jobs, it makes sense that you are not feeling it, you are stuck in your masculine and my friend, 2 strong masculine are like 2 magnets repelling each other. So before you get into the spicy stuff with your partner you need to work on yourself first!! Take responsibility for how you feel and your own sex drive. Work on your feminine energy, your confidence in your body, feeling sexy AF, your home life and your stress levels, all of which I can help you with in my 1:1 coaching and in Mum School, but for now let's talk specifics of spicing up your sex life and some of my hot tips.
Let me guess before you had kids you and your partner had a thriving sexy, spicy, juicy sex life and then BAM you had kids and now it takes a lot more effort to get those juices flowing?
Grab a cuppa or maybe a cocktail and let's talk sex
3 ideas to spice up your sex life after kids
First mama, honour the season you are in. If you are newly postpartum you are tired, hormones are wild and your body has changed so it's ok, give yourself some grace.
But when you are ready to get spicy again here are 3 things you can do and what we have personally used to help our post baby sex life.
This is a list that basically takes you through a range of intimacy and sexual activities ranging from cuddling to hair pulling to sexting to handcuffs to eye contact to lap dances. It gives you a chance to talk to your partner about what you like, what you don't like and what you'd like to try but also if you are early postpartum and aren't quite yet ready for penetration it’s a way for you to express to your partner what you are ready for. You could have a date night with some yummy dessert and go through it together or you could each do your own and then swap to compare.
This is a shop that basically has packs that help you have experiences and create memories, and they have a range of packs for couples from connection cards, in bed challenge packs and quickies cards. Something for everyone whether you need to build connection with your partner or want to take the thinking out of your spicy sex and leave it up to the cards to get your started and call the shots.
Better gifts
Instead of a random T-shirt or voucher for a massage for birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas presents how about you get a couple gifts? Your spicy little inside joke on Christmas day that only you two know about?
A new sex toy
A babysitter and a date night
A few hours or night at a hotel
One of the Adventure Challenge packs
A Lovehoney gift
Pick your pleasure but come on my friend, another pair of shorts, boring!! Let's build that connection and pleasure.
As I said at the start mama, this might not be you just YET!! First you may need to work on getting into your feminine and letting your partner lead. Maybe you need to work on your body image so you can stand naked confidently and own that shit, maybe you need to start eating better and moving your body so you can feel string and sexy AF, or maybe you just need to honour that you had a baby 2 months ago and that you just cant be fucked right now, and thats ok, maybe you just need a hug and to be held!!
But whatever it is or whatever phase you are in, you do need to take responsibility for how you feel, your communication with your partner and your own sex drive. Work on your feminine energy, your confidence and body image, your nutrition and your stress levels. All of which I can help you with in my 1:1 coaching and in Mum School, so if you wanna start working on you and getting those juices flowing lets chat and get you feeling sexy AF, strong and feminine
